I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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