im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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