Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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