Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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