I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
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Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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