8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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