He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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