still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
