So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
