I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
