the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
