So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
