he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
BRING THE BAGELS
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize