I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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