Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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