I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
