She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
