She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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