You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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