Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
