they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
