are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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