How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
