Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
