I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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