Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
