I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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