scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
