Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize