Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
