roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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