Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
