He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
