we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize