Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
