So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
