Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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