There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
