their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
