After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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