She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
