so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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