I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
