Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
