It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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