just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
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I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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