wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
