hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
