Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
