You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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