Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She told me I should be a condom model.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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