My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
