Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just had sex on a roof
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
