I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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