I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
