and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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