I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
