epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
