9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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