I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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